One of the worst days ever.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Right. Now there’s this whole fiasco going on in my home. It was holidays. I get holidays for a week. Brother just finished fixing desktop, so I wanna play. I’d waited til after my tests to start playing. Apparently, my dad’s pissed because the night before, my dad told my brother to go to sleep, but he didn’t, and stayed up to oh-my-god in the morning doing goodness-knows-what with his laptop. So new rule in the house, no video games.

Naturally, I’m kinda pissed. It’s my holidays. I didn’t do too bad in my tests, and it’s not that I did badly because of video games, so in all actuality, this should have nothing to do with me. Well, I once tried playing when my dad wasn’t home, and my mum reamed me. She called me selfish, not wanting to help my brother with his addiction. FYI Mum, it’s not selfish. It’s called looking out for myself.

So.. fine. Still pissed, but not playing video games. My brother spends whole effing days in front of the desktop now, cause his laptop needs repairing. Given, he occasionally studies. But he studies… IN FRONT. Of the desktop. It’s something to do with programming, but still. I’m loads pissed at my parents. They say, you should help your brother, we’re in this as a family. If they want it to be more effective, they should have yanked his laptop and monitored his use on the desktop which is now in the living room. Then OBVIOUSLY he can’t play video games right? If they can catch ME playing video games.

And then, the clincher. My brother actually goes back to his apartment on weekends. The apartment where his Xbox is. Where his gaming buddy lives. Where the WIDESCREEN TV IS. Are you connecting the dots yet? AND MY MUM TOLD HIM HE COULD. While, I, the child who actually does study, and wants a measly WEEK to play video games, am not even allowed to THINK about playing. This is ridiculously unfair. And my dad knows he goes back to the apartment. The addict gets his weekly fixes, but the sister of the addict who happens to be in the same house, can’t do it even though she’s not addicted, simply because it might TEMPT HIM. Where’s the logic in that?

So I confronted my mum about it. I was beyond pissed. My brother happily prances off to the apartment on weekends. He says he can’t do anything about it. My mum’s all, it doesn’t matter that this is unfair. We have to work together as a family. I told her, work together as a family? When you let HIM go off and play, even though he’s an ‘addict’ as you call him, and I’m not allowed to play? Even when he’s gone? Even when it’s my holidays? It’s just ONE RULE she says.. CAN’T YOU FOLLOW IT? Then what about my brother? Why am I the one who has to be treated like I dropped out of college and abandoned studying to play video games?

I once asked my dad when I could play. He told me, when your brother goes and gets a degree. Fuck off man, that’s 3 years. For all I know, my brother might drop out again, even WITHOUT my TEMPTING HIM WITH VIDEO GAMES AT HOME. My mum’s like… why must you kick up such a big fuss, you’re going to leave next year anyway, but in hindsight, it’s the whole PRINCIPLE of the thing. She says to me. You can play, but your dad and brother must not be at home and you can ask me nicely and I’ll let you play. WTF? I didn’t do anything wrong, and I have to ask you NICELY, and only when both my BROTHER AND MY FATHER aren’t around? Whatever.

So anyway, my dad overhears this heated argument, and yells, Stop talking about it. Like he’s really angry at me. So I shout at him. I don’t care. It’s fucking unfair. And he’s all, how dare you use that kind of language? And I don’t care if it’s unfair. You’re a rascal. And I’m like.. I KNOW. and he says.. if you don’t want to be a part of this family then GET OUT. RIGHT NOW. And I’m in the middle of my lunch, in the middle of doing physics, yell back.. FINE. And I leave with the clothes on my back, my wallet and my handphone. He tells me, don’t take anything with you. It’s all mine. I’m like, I don’t care. In hindsight, if I’d left the handphone behind and listened to him, no one would be able to find me. Serve him right then.

At first I wanted to go to Najwa’s house. But she was going to Disney on Ice, and it was awfully far to walk. But I thought I’d take a bus to go there. She said, why don’t you go to Adli’s house? And I said, I don’t know where it is. She said she’d call him, and she did, and she told me he wasn’t at home. So I said okay, I’d just walk to her house. She wanted me to take a cab, but I was scared. I walked to the bottom of the hill, and sat at the bus-stop and remembered Mandy. So I called her.

I asked if she had her car. She didn’t, and Chris couldn’t send it over, so she told her mum and they came and picked me up. My bro called me, and said that mum wanted me home. I said, dad doesn’t want me at home. He said, we’ll deal with that later. But if he doesn’t cool down by tonight, I’ll pack some of your clothes and send it to you.

So I follow Mandy around for the rest of the day. St. John’s cathedral is really cool. Bell towers, high ceilings, fascinating parish house. I stayed for her choir practice. Then my mum called, and told me to come home. I was like.. okay. Then Aunty Monica came and talked to me. I told her I was kinda reluctant to go home, because chances are my Dad would treat me like I didn’t exist, or yell at me for coming back, or yell at me for doing something stupid. The very common question thrown at me : Why are you so stupid? I swear, I will never say that to anyone. It’s so demeaning.

My Dad seriously has a problem. Last time when we went to Shanghai on holiday, I had a tendency to lag behind the tour group, because I wanted to take photos. So anyway, the tour group stops at this place, and I swear my dad was behind me. I actually looked behind and saw him. The tour guide said we could walk around, but come back in an hour’s time. I turned around, and my dad was gone. My sister, mum, and I went looking for him for the whole hour. When we went back to the meeting place, he asked, where did you go? We asked him the same thing. He said he went looking for me. And he got angry. And for the rest of the trip, he told the WHOLE TOUR GROUP and everyone else besides who would listen how I was such a horrible daughter. It actually got to the point where a fricking TOUR GUIDE actually came up to give me a lecture on treating my dad better. Luckily I didn’t really get what she was saying to me. Or I’d have slapped some one. I bet he’ll spend weeks from now complaining to everyone how I’m such a horrible daughter.

So anyway I’m home now. He’s acting as though I don’t exist. My mum probably only called me home because she didn’t want me to be a trouble to Aunty Monica. When I got home she gave me this look. It was the angry why-are-you-so-stupid look. >.> I swear.

The story of my life.

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